I cannot believe I fly out the day after tomorrow! Whoa. Time really DOES fly. I’ve been so busy with all of the crazy logistics of everything, it’s been hard to get excited – but now I am officially excited! 🙂 I can’t wait to start this new chapter of my life – studying Drama and English Lit. in England! I’m really jazzed about starting school!
I will need to find part-time work while I am over there though… so I will be looking and looking for something I can do to make money. I need money to help take care of me, as well as money to put towards next year’s tuition/housing. I’ll be applying for scholarships too, but I can’t bank on those… just have to hope and pray! Have to make it happen! I can’t believe I’ve come this far… I didn’t do it alone, either. I fully realize that. Divine intervention, help from friends, and emotional support from family and those closest to me… all are responsible for me being where I am right now. I promise that I will continue to work just as hard as I can to make everyone proud… and I’ll do everything in my power to pay it forward myself someday when I am able.
For now… I am going to sort of take it easy tonight. It’s been an INSANELY busy couple of days. I have been going and going and going non-stop. I think a nice, cozy night in is on tap for this evening. 😉
Okay, so 4 days and a few hours… but still. I feel like I still have so much to do this week. I’m working away at my checklists, but I just KNOW I will forget some things. I guess that’s when I just have to shrug, take a deep breath, and let the chips fall where they may – which, for a perfectionist like me, is excruciating.
Today, I have to go to my Dad’s doctor to see if he will sign a form asking the USPS to deliver Dad’s mail closer to the house. Our mailbox is located about 1/5 mile from the house, on a very busy road, on a hill/blind spot, where cars FLY over (well over the speed limit, mind you…) thus making it dangerous to check the mail. I’ve gone back and forth with our post office for years now with complaints. It’s not just the dangerous location of the box, but also the fact that our box has been hit by the local redneck vandals five times in the seven years we have lived here. It’s over $100 to replace a box and post every time they do it. That adds up. But back to the danger bit… there is a ditch directly behind our box, so one cannot stand behind the box to check the mail because one cannot reach… and when it rains, that ditch is full of water. My dad will be 88 in a few days, has chronic lymphoma and balance issues… do we REALLY need him trying to do a balance act and try to become a gymnast of sorts just to check his mail? Seriously? The lame postmaster sent me an email suggesting that we just move it to the other side of the road. Um… what will THAT accomplish? Now he basically wants my Dad to play “Frogger” with his life by crossing the road with cars whizzing by… just so he can check his mail. It’s not like Dad can move as quickly as he would need to in order to make that happen safely! Are these people INSANE? It took me over a month before I was able to get anyone out to look at our situation, and when they finally did, I was given NO warning and was not at home to show them our concerns and talk to them. So now they say that if we get a letter from his doctor saying he cannot go and get the mail where it is now, they MIGHT consider letting us move it. AMERICANS: THIS IS HOW YOUR GOVERNMENT RUN MAIL SERVICE TREATS A WORLD WAR II VETERAN!!! Just so you know!!! I want everyone to know how uncaring and lackadaisical these morons are. Our tax dollars at work? HARDLY! And yet they keep going up on postage? We need an alternative to the US mail, and in a BIG BIG way!!! They have a monopoly, so we have absolutely NO recourse when things like this happen. This is a man who is disabled, and they’re treating him like something they found on the bottom of their SHOE!!! It makes me want to vomit.
Here’s a video of the cars whizzing past… and this was before I even got out in the road to check the mail (because that’s the only way it can be checked – by standing on the road in front of the box itself.)
SO, I still have all of this to contend with in the few days I have left. I have GOT to get some sort of resolution from these people. My stress levels are through the roof already, so this just makes it even worse. 🙁
In addition to that, I have to finish packing. I have to create a packing list for the suitcase I’m shipping over (it’s a customs thing, I think…) and I have to take down the tent and air mattress where I currently sleep, so that I can move all of the “garage sale stuff” (for the garage sale I never had time to hold) out of our guest bedroom to my room. My older sister and some of her family are coming to visit with Dad shortly after I leave, and everyone will need places to sleep! LOL! Right now, it looks like the upstairs of my house has exploded. It’s a crazy mess!
I also have to go over to our local phone company and set up a monitoring system for my Dad. We’re getting him one of those little “panic buttons” that he can use just in case he has an emergency. Hopefully I can get it set up for this week! (I know, I’m cutting it close!)
I have a laundry list of other items to do as well. On top of it all, I think I may have given myself a stomach ulcer from all of the stress of the summer. Every time I eat, my stomach hurts and I feel like I want to puke. Not ideal. So… I am trying to eat bland foods, and I am taking some of that tummy medicine that’s supposed to help treat ulcers (if that’s what it is…) it’s like Prilosec, where you only take it for 14 days. We’ll see. Hopefully this is temporary.
Yesterday was a nice day, with the exception of the mailbox-hell. I spent the day with my bestie, since it was probably the last time we will see each other before I leave. We got our nails done and had sushi for dinner. It was lovely, and it took everything in me not to totally break down and cry like a baby when we had to say goodbye. She keeps saying she’s going to come over to visit though, so I hope she does!
Okay, well… it’s time to log off and get some more work done (and deliver that letter to Dad’s doctor for the USPS.) If anyone has any magical hookups who are high-up in the post office and might be able to help us with this situation, PLEASE feel free to pass along the link to this article and have them contact me! It still just blows my mind that a government entity would treat a man like this… a man who proudly served his country and worked hard his entire life… paid his taxes, etc… Yet they want him to risk life and limb in order to check his mailbox daily? Sickening.
So yeah, I’m deep in the throes of packing for the upcoming UK move now. I might add that I am not the best at packing – for any trip – let alone a move. I always tend to over pack. I got my friend Traci to come over and help me with the clothing parts of things the other day, and she was a big help! I was able to sort of get things organized and decided to leave some things behind that I likely would not use much once I was over there. My tee shirts, however, were non-negotiable. I am a huge tee shirt collector and I wear them pretty much every day. My “standard attire” consists of a cool, nerdy tee shirt of some sort, a pair of shorts, leggings, jeggings, etc… and my trusty black Converse. London is not as hot of a climate as North Georgia/Tennessee though, so I opted to leave a lot of the shorts behind (just packed three pair of basketball shorts for workouts and such.) Anyway, with Traci’s help, I was able to get the packing organized into which bag things should go into… for instance, I am spending the first five days in a hotel in Central London – so I needed things for that leg of the journey in one smaller bag (including my clothes for the theatre to see Hamlet.) Then the next bag was the things I would wear during the first week of school (as I will be arriving early since I am an international student and will have a lot of administrative type things to take care of, etc…) Lastly, all of my heavier/bulkier winter items (and books) would go into a large suitcase that I’m having shipped to a friend’s place nearby to Greenwich – I can go and collect it from her the day I move into my dorm room/flat at the residence hall.
Now I am to the “non-clothing” bits. All of those “vital” must-haves to make it through this next year of school. The electronic bits and chargers, etc… as well as a few toiletries, vitamins/supplements, umbrella, rain poncho, one set of bed linens, etc… AND the “homey” things I will want to bring along to keep me from getting quite so homesick. I honestly think this part is the most stressful, because I’m so afraid of NOT packing something vital… or packing something I really DO NOT need. Last night, I finally had to stop for a bit because I found myself looking over my selection of teas and pondering which ones I might want to take with me. I stopped myself and said “Janni, you DOLT… you’re going to ENGLAND and you’re seriously contemplating packing tea to bring WITH you? Of all the places where you would not need to bring your own tea…” LOL! Yeah. Overboard.
Today, I am still pondering items to bring along, and I am trying to figure out how to get my plush/stuffed Iron Man and Hedwig into my luggage. I sleep with them at night. Go ahead – insert your laugh HERE. (sigh) I will have to just purchase pillows when I get there, because those are not things that would be easy to pack in suitcases. And of course I will have to make a run out to a local discount store like ASDA or someplace to pick up a few essentials, but I am trying to limit the things I have to buy because I need to stretch every penny this year. I’m going to need every little bit that I can save. Thankfully, I am blessed to have some really great friends, and one of them who lives North of London and who is coming down to see Hamlet with me after I get there, is bringing me some towels! That’s one less thing I will have to buy! YAY! I will need to pick up some room essentials though, like a small wastebasket, maybe a pencil cup, and a few school supplies. There will probably be some more books I need too. Which brings me to the hard part. My books. Leaving my Shakespeare library behind is excruciating. You have no idea. LOL! BUT, I am taking my set of Lexicons. I don’t know how much I will need them, but I want to have them there, regardless.
Somehow though, I foresee me smuggling a few little things into my bags that I know others would question (a few favorite posters, a couple of action figures, and a few stress-relief toys…) I’m okay with that though… I’ve found that packing for a big move like this is all about compromise. 😉
Meanwhile, if anyone wants to help out and buy me a cup of tea, or put money towards some of the things I will have to pick up when I get over there, please feel free to visit the links on the right-hand side of my page for my PayPal, or my GoFundMe. GoFundMe is mostly for fundraising for next year… PayPal is for things I can use right away while I am over there.
Today, however, I am going to work on more errands leading up to the move… as well as try to take some time to breathe and relax. My nerves have been taking over and panic attacks have been looming. I am under a crazy amount of stress at the moment, as you can imagine. The emotional upheaval of leaving home, leaving my Dad here, and going to another country for the next ten months is really starting to hit me hard. I need to be sure to take time for “calming” when I feel myself spiraling. Deep breaths. Please pray for me? Thanks, everyone!
Okay, so no… I am not going to go back and re-tell my long, arduous story about how I got to this place in my life. It’s a LONG story. And did I mention arduous? There is a lot of heartbreak, heartache, abuse, sadness, and a few triumphs towards the last part of the story… But yeah – I’ll give you the VERY abridged and somewhat cheeky version:
Basically in a nutshell, Girl is born. Girl then struggles throughout her entire life with undiagnosed autism (along with sensory issues and anxiety problems) and learning disabilities. Girl unsuccessfully tries to excel in school, life, and a plethora of careers – even being abused and tormented along the way just for good measure. Girl finally just assumes she is a loser and REALLY stupid. Finally however, Girl gets diagnosed and is provided with the tools she needs to succeed in life. Tragically though, Girl has racked up a huge amount of student loan debt from her countless failures, and also medical debt (which ruined her credit) because she ended up with kidney cancer too (thankfully she triumphed over the cancer!) Girl wondered if she would EVER be able to make something of her life.
Finally Girl re-discovers the THEATRE. Girl had loved it as a youngster and had done many plays, but finally realized that the theatre is the one place where she felt alive – mostly because she didn’t have to be herself (a task at which she isn’t all that comfortable…) and could instead be a variety of fun, interesting, and amazing characters! Girl participates in some really great community theatre shows, and is over the moon with happiness. (Girl is basically SAVED by the theatre!) Oh yeah… and Girl is also obsessed with Shakespeare. Girl decides to go back to school one last time to see if she has any sort of true abilities whatsoever in theatre. Girl enrolls in a local community college in their really fabulous two-year conservatory style Professional Actor Training Program and does very well. Girl went to two major US cities her last semester in the two-year program and auditioned for three different London drama schools, but did not get in. Girl is disappointed, naturally, but still believes she gained valuable audition experience as well as gaining newfound independence during her travels. (Girl made two trips within a week to a very snowy Chicago via a 14 hour bus ride each way. Girl also flew to NYC for a super quick weekend for one of the other auditions!) Finally, after a grueling last semester in which she undertook eight classes, a spring musical, and a final play – Girl eventually graduates Summa Cum Laude and receives her Associate of Arts degree in Theatre Arts in May 2015. But Girl wants MORE!
Girl desperately wants to get her Bachelors degree, and then to hopefully go on for a Masters (maybe in Shakespeare studies,) and perhaps even a Ph.D. someday. Girl has decided she wants to teach Shakespeare/Drama/Lit on the university level OR be a researcher (in addition to acting.) Girl REALLY wants to do something Shakespeare-related. Girl looks into many colleges, both stateside and abroad, but since Girl has no money and no financial aid left, Girl was very limited. Girl gets accepted into a university in London with her DREAM combination programme in Drama and English Literature and is beyond elated! University tuitions are generally less expensive in the UK than the schools stateside, but since girl was at the end of her financial aid rope, how would Girl pay for it? Girl spent nearly two months, nearly 24/7 doing online research to try to find scholarship help. Girl either did not qualify due to age or due to chosen major. (There were a few with cut-off dates she had missed though, so she will apply for those for next year.) Girl tried fundraising and it wasn’t hugely successful initially, so she was just about to give up when a friend (who shall remain anonymous) offered to pay for the first of her two remaining years towards her Bachelors programme. Girl was ELATED, HUMBLED, and SOOOOOOO OVERJOYED! Girl still had to find more money though, for something called “maintenance funds” to show the UK Student Visa people that she could support herself over there. When Girl was just about to throw in the towel (it looked as if the remaining funds could not be raised) Girl was told by the university that she still qualified for a little bit of financial aid and it would be enough for this year. Girl will STILL need to find a way to pay for next year, but after Girl graduates with her Bachelors degree, Girl will once again be eligible for federal student loans for her Masters programme because the aggregate level is increased. For now, Girl is on track to enter as a year two student on the three year Bachelors programme… and will be leaving for the UK on Sept. 6th, 2015!
By now, you’ve probably guessed that “Girl” is me.
I will be attending the University of Greenwich and studying on their BA (hons) Drama and English Literature programme. The term officially begins on Sept. 21st, but I have to arrive the week earlier because there’s a week’s worth of workshops, seminars, and other planned events for the International students. I’m ACTUALLY arriving on the morning of Sept. 7th and staying in a hotel in central London for the first week because I’m meeting up with friends to see Hamlet at the Barbican Center on Sept. 8th. Then I move into my room at the residence hall on Saturday, Sept. 12th. Oh yeah… and I also registered for a Shakespeare Master Class at RADA for the evening of Sept. 28th! My September is going to be BUSY!!
I’ve been spending the last few weeks working on securing my student visa. I just received word today that it’s been printed and they are sending it out to me soon, so I should have it by next week – just in time for my trip! Things are really happening… I’m starting to get VERY excited! My bestie came over today and helped me pack. It’s amazing how much stuff will fit into suitcases. 😉 I still have a lot of things on my “to-do” list but every day I am crossing more and more of them off, and making progress!
Admittedly, during all of the trying and heartbreaking times as I was attempting to make this dream happen – I was losing faith in myself and in my abilities. I was starting to fall into an ugly pit of despair. After having worked SO HARD these last two years to do well in my program, and succeed – and then to have such a hard time when it came to going on and “finishing what I’d started…” it was overwhelming. I was under incredible stress. I just kept hoping and praying… and praying some more. I couldn’t give up. I just couldn’t. And just when I thought I was going to have to give up – things miraculously worked out!
This is certainly a dream come true. I am going to be studying in my favorite place in the world – London! London makes my heart sing with happiness. I feel alive and “at home” there. It’s where my soul is at peace, and I simply cannot WAIT to get back there!
I will be using this blog to write about my experiences abroad, both with university life, theatre projects, etc… and hopefully with any fun “extracurricular” stuff I do in London as well! I cannot begin to tell you how very BLESSED I feel that this is all coming to fruition. It’s a life-long dream, really, and I’m seeing it unfold before my very eyes. God is good. That’s all I can say about it… I am truly thankful.